Do you ever wonder why we do things the way we do? Or why we believe what we believe? Probably – but only when a child is asking, “Why?” Over and over again. We all tend to end that conversation the same way: “Because.”
Take something as simple as eye contact while talking with someone. Most Americans would say good eye contact means you are confident and respectful. Bad eye contact suggests dishonesty, disrespect, or disinterest. But such beliefs aren’t necessarily “natural.” In the animal kingdom, direct eye contact is seen as threatening – a personal challenge. In many East Asian cultures, prolonged eye contact is considered disrespectful and overly aggressive. In America, we expect children to look at adults when they speak to them; in other cultures, doing so is the height of disrespect.
Why the difference? Over time, cultures develop different expectations about what is respectful, appropriate, and normal. Children absorb those expectations from parents, teachers, friends, and the broader community until they stop feeling like rules at all. They simply feel like the way things are.
